


Crayon

by lildemonlili



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, College AU, F/F, Fluff, Side ships not tagged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 05:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19370575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lildemonlili/pseuds/lildemonlili
Summary: Nayeon is sure that Karma has a vendetta against her, and that Dahyun is a part of tht vendetta, when the girl suddenly shows up as a freshman at Nayeon’s school after seven years.





	Crayon

There’s a lot to be said for stupid decisions and regret. Nayeon would know – she has a fair share of both. And they usually come back to bite her in the ass eventually. 

So really, why is she even surprised when one of her many regrets suddenly shows up at her college?

At first, Nayeon is certain that she’s seeing things. Sure, it may look like  _ her _ , but there’s no way it is her. How could she be here of all places? To be honest, Nayeon hadn’t ever expected to see her ever again, but for all Nayeon can see, she’s standing right there, at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the dorm rooms, with a box of stuff and an air of freshman about her… but it’s not her, is it? She’s too young and too- not that she wasn’t pretty as a kid but-

“Nayeon? You okay?”

Nayeon jumps at Jeongyeon’s voice, gripping her arm a little tighter, realizing she’s frozen on the spot halfway through the door to their dorm building.

“That girl – the one with the blonde hair, holding the box, she’s really there, right? I’m not imagining things?” Nayeon’s voice is hushed. She knows very well how insane she sounds, but she has to be sure. Before she runs, that is.

“Next to the dark haired one? Yeah, I see her. Why?” Jeongyeon looks positively lost. Not that Nayeon can really blame her.

“Nothing, wanna go somewhere?” Nayeon can’t help but deflect. It’s so embarrassing and she just has to get away.

“Wait, why? You  _ just  _ made me agree to binge  _ Kim Bok Joo _ , and now you want to go out?” Jeongyeon asks with a click of the tongue.

Yes, that’s very much what Nayeon wants. Anything just to get back out of this building before she sees. Before she recognizes- but then again, even if it is her, then there’s still a possibility that she won’t recognize Nayeon. After all, she was only twelve when-

“Unnie?”

Nayeon jumps. Feels her heart in her throat and her cheeks warm immediately. She’s right in front of Nayeon. Nayeon averts her eyes to some point behind the girl’s left ear, unable to meet the big eyes looking up at her, like they always did before. 

There’s no doubt anymore. Nayeon would recognize that exact pronunciation of ‘ _ unnie’  _ anywhere. It’s the sound of rattling leaves in the autumn wind and crayon on coarse paper, and laughter. It really, really is her. Her little Dahyunnie. Not so little anymore. Not hers anymore. Nayeon made sure of that. But she’s here, and she’s looking at Nayeon, the box and dark haired friend left where Nayeon had seen them talking together. So really… what’s left but to face the music? 

Like she said, it’s not like Nayeon’s regrets haven’t all come back to bite her in the ass in the end. This is just another one in a long line, and Nayeon has gotten pretty good at it over the past few years. 

“Hi, Dahyun.” Nayeon barely manages not to cringe. She’s waiting for the anger. For Dahyun to look at her in the way that will tell her they both know Nayeon fucked up. After all, she was the one who promised to keep in touch and then didn’t.

But the anger doesn’t come. Instead, Dahyun, older now but still undeniably the same girl as back then, lights up like a damn Christmas tree.

“I thought it was you!” Dahyun’s voice sounds like it’s bursting. “I heard your voice and- it’s been so long.”

Nayeon is about to politely agree, her stomach turning with guilt. But the next moment she merely has to remember how to breathe, as Dahyun’s arms wrap around her neck and she’s pulled close.

It’s weird how you can move away and choose to leave a life behind, until suddenly something happens and now Nayeon is fifteen again and she’s home, and she can’t help but return the girl’s hug, feeling her closeness for the first time in eight years. They’re both taller now. Older now. But Nayeon doesn’t feel much wiser. If she was, she probably wouldn’t have kept the hug going for as long as she did. And she probably wouldn’t have dared to grin at the younger girl when they pulled apart. But Dahyun is beaming at her as if Nayeon’s presence reinvented the meaning of happiness, and it’s downright impossible not to smile back. At least until her dazed mind returns to reality. Then it’s very hard to keep smiling.

“I didn’t know you attended college here.” Dahyun’s voice is almost breathless. “I thought you were still in Daejeon.”

“I- well… I came back for uni.” Nayeon feels completely out of place. As if she’s not fully present. And the only thing she can do to ground herself is to fumble for Jeongyeon’s arm, finding her sleeve and grabbing onto it.

“Oh, well, me too. I guess. We moved to Gwangju three years ago, but I always wanted to go here for college.” Dahyun looks completely unbothered, but just as she opens her mouth to continue, a shuffle turns all three girls’ attention to the fourth girl, standing where Dahyun left her with the box.

“Sorry, I’ll be right there.” Dahyun apologizes.

“It’s okay.” The girl is soft-spoken but Dahyun still waves off her forgiveness before turning to Nayeon again.

“I’d really love to catch up more, but I promised to help Mina move in, which really, is only fair, considering she spent all morning helping me.”

“Oh, no, go ahead.” Nayeon can’t help but feel a little relief. That feeling of her organs slowly being deteriorated by the growing guilt is definitely a feeling she’d like to get away from.

“Sure. But maybe- do you want to grab a bite tomorrow or something? All of us maybe? You, me, Mina and-” Dahyun looks over at Jeongyeon, the tallest of the four looking highly entertained by the entire situation. “I didn’t get your name, I’m sorry.”

“I’m Jeongyeon. But- I mean not Im Jeongyeon. Yoo Jeongyeon.” Jeongyeon holds out a hand enthusiastically. If Nayeon had been blessed with a slightly higher brain activity at the given time, she might have stepped on Jeongyeon’s toes for that one, but she’s still in shock at the actual presence of the girl in front of her.

“Kim Dahyun! Nice to meet you. I hope you don’t mind being asked to dinner by a stranger.” Dahyun answers back just as enthusiastically.

“Not at all. Anything involving food and I’m in.” Jeongyeon grins happily. “And Nayeon is in too.”

“Oh, brilliant.” Dahyun is almost glowing with happiness when she turns to Nayeon. “Is your number still the same?”

“I- Yeah, why?” Nayeon feels completely lost. But in her defense she’s still trying to find out how this is reality. 

“Good! I’ll text you about tomorrow then.” Dahyun looks like it’s the most normal thing in the world to say to a girl who treated you like Nayeon treated her. And the next thing she’s off, practically bouncing back to her friend – Mina, was it? – who’s just standing there with a box and a soft smile.

Nayeon watches as they walk away, up the stairs that Nayeon in theory is also supposed to use. In theory being the cue, as she’s still frozen in the door.

Jeongyeon doesn’t ask. At least not there, in the door, as she softly nudges Nayeon into regaining the use of her limbs. In fact, she doesn’t ask until they’re dozily laying on the bed, Nayeon on the right, Jeongyeon on the left, and Sana, their third roommate, in the middle. And it’s not even subtle when Jeongyeon does ask. It’s right in the middle of a conversation, as if Nayeon needed Dahyun brought up, especially in front of Sana.

“So, what’s the deal with you and that Dahyun girl?”

This time around, Nayeon does have enough functioning brainwaves to get the urge to step on Jeongyeon’s toes. It’s just that this is quite hard to do when they’re lying down and there’s Sana and a laptop between them. And especially hard when Sana sits up slightly, claiming the view.

“Dahyun? There’s a Dahyun?” Sana looks like Christmas came early. She’s always been a sucker for gossip, especially when the subject surrounds Nayeon’s love life. “Who is Dahyun?”

“Yes, Nayeon. Who  _ is _ Dahyun?” Jeongyeon sits up enough to also look at Nayeon.

Nayeon most of all just wants to disappear. They’re clearly both expecting some juicy one night stand story, but that scenario really couldn’t be farther from the truth.

“Please, Nayeon?” 

There’s a slight pout in Sana’s voice and it makes Nayeon groan in defeat almost immediately. There’s a reason Sana knows pretty much everything about Nayeon’s private life. That pouty voice. It’s really not fair.

“I kind of ghosted her.”

“Ohh, Im Nayeon, you bad, bad girl.” Sana says with joy dripping from every word.

“Oh, shut up, it’s not like that.” Nayeon scowls at Sana, gently pushing her away by the shoulder. “We didn’t date, it was a friend-ghosting.”

“Ouch. What happened?” Jeongyeon closes the laptop and puts it away, making room for them to actually have a conversation. But Nayeon keeps laying on the bed, staring into the ceiling instead of at her friends.

“I moved away.” Nayeon shrugs. She’s really not sure if she wants to talk about or not. 

The silence from her roommates tells Nayeon that they’ve caught her mood. And maybe it’s exactly this that makes her continue. “She moved in when she was three, only kid, had a lot of energy and parents that didn’t really seem to care much about her. And I guess I thought it might be cool to have a little sister who wasn’t my actual sister? I don’t really remember, I mean I was six. But for some reason it was me, and not my sisters who became her friend. I just kind of took her in. I taught her how to ride a bike and how to fly a kite dragon. I even taught her how to write. I remember she always insisted on writing with crayons instead of pencils because they’re prettier, so I had to teach her the letters in really big writing so she could draw it. And even when we got older, and she started school and that, we still hung out a lot, in school and after. Nights mostly. For a while she came over to my house a lot, to sleep somewhere with adults present - her parents work so much, at night too for a while, and my mom always let her stay.”

Nayeon hasn’t looked at the girls a single time. It’s a weird path to go down again after so many years, but she can’t stop now that she’s started. As if it’s been simmering under the surface for too long. The only thing she can do is to close her eyes and keep going.

“My family and I moved to Daejeon in my last year of middle school, and I had a really hard time making friends there, so I just shut myself off until I started high school, and by then I had lost contact with Dahyun too, despite promising I would keep in touch. She called and texted a lot at first, but I wasn’t very responsive, so in the end she stopped trying. I can’t really blame her. I mean I was a kid but I can’t excuse my behavior with that. And now… now she’s here. At my university. In  _ my _ dorm. And she doesn’t even seem to hold a grudge against me for treating her like shit. I think that’s the worst part. If it had just been awkward we could’ve both pretended not to know each other. That’s easier. But instead-”

A sigh leaves Nayeon and she shakes her head.

“Girl.” Sana’s voice is dry, and it makes Nayeon open her eyes, finding her friends both looking down at her.

“I know, it’s bad.” Nayeon cringes, finally pushing herself until she’s supported by the elbows.

“No, it’s not bad.” Sana tuts, tugging at Nayeon’s arm gently, letting the older girl know there’s a hug waiting if she wants it. “It’s human. You were a kid and you had a rough time, and you lived really far away. Sure, you never meant to, but people drift apart. Even people we once considered almost family. It happens, especially when you’re kids.”

Jeongyeon’s nod behind Sana makes Nayeon sigh again. She knows Sana has a point, but it still doesn’t change the fact that there’s nothing,  _ nothing _ Nayeon wants more than to cancel the dinner tomorrow and forget that the entire thing ever happened. Because as much as logic and reason have a place in a discussion, it never really seems to have a place in Nayeon’s heart. And in her heart she’s still ashamed of how she treated a kid she practically helped raise.

“Well, still, it’s a big university - hell, it’s a big dorm building - it’s not like you have to talk to her much if you don’t want to.” Sana notes in an attempt to cheer Nayeon up.

Nayeon scowls. Jeongyeon clears her throat.

“What?” Sana turns to look at Jeongyeon and then looks back at Nayeon.

“Well, brickhead over there accepted an offer on both our behalves about dinner tomorrow with Dahyun and her friend.” Nayeon clicks her tongue, looking up at the ceiling. “So yeah, I think I have to talk to her.”

Sana doesn’t seem to have more ideas, and Nayeon really doesn’t want to talk more about it anyways. She’s just going to have to go with it. Whatever  _ it _ will be. Honestly, she doesn’t even know when or where they’re meeting. All she knows is that Dahyun still has Nayeon’s number in her phonebook. Somehow that tugs at her guilt more than anything, though she doesn’t tell the others. And she definitely doesn’t tell them when her phone buzzes on the little shelf by her bed. Instead she waits until the other two are dead asleep, and then opens her phone.

 

**[9:51 pm] Unknown number** :  _ Hey unnie, it’s Dahyun. I actually don’t know any good restaurants in this area, but I thought maybe since you’ve lived here a few years, you could decide where to go? Can you guys make it by eight, in front of the dorm building? _

 

There’s no getting out of it. Nayeon knows. So she agrees to the time, writes the name of a decently priced korean barbeque place, saves the number as Dahyun’s and turns off the phone screen before turning onto her back. She had been twelve the last time Nayeon saw her. And now she must be… what? Nineteen? Wait, how is she even in college? They’re three years apart right? Nayeon counts on her fingers. Yeah, Dahyun must be nineteen now. She should only be a senior in high school. Or maybe Nayeon remembered wrong. Maybe Dahyun had been four when- no, she was three, she was born in ‘98. Wasn’t she? 

Why is Nayeon even thinking about these things? It doesn’t matter anyway. She’s clearly here. And Nayeon very obviously has no clue what to do about it. So really, the only thing she can do is to show up the next day, in front of the dorm building, with Jeongyeon (and to no-one’s surprise, Sana) by her side, only to find Dahyun and her friend already waiting.

“Unnie!” Dahyun calls excitedly. She even waves, though she’s momentarily distracted when a few girls from Nayeon’s year make an effort to get past her. Dahyun takes a step to the left and then grins at Nayeon once more.

Nayeon’s stomach tugs. Why does Dahyun have to look at her like her mere presence made her entire night? It’s not fair. It’s too much pressure.

“Oh my god, cute.” Sana coos immediately, her voice low enough that only Nayeon can hear it.

“Don’t.” Nayeon warns. “Not her.”

Sana just hums and adds pace to their walk until they reach Dahyun.

“Hi!” Sana says excitedly, holding out a hand to Dahyun. “I’m Sana. I hope you don’t mind me fifth-wheeling this thing. I’m used to third-wheeling these two so I figured I could tag along here too.” 

Nayeon cringes slightly. Sana has absolutely no shame, ever. And normally that’s Nayeon’s favorite thing about Sana, but right now she’s feeling too weird about the entire thing.

“Not at all!” Dahyun says, shaking Sana’s hand happily. “I’m Dahyun, and this is Mina.”

Sana looks over at Mina with a bright smile, and Mina smiles shyly back at her.

“Should we maybe head out? I mean I don’t know about all of you, but I’m starving.” Jeongyeon asks. Nayeon wonders if Jeongyeon could feel her awkwardness, or if she’s merely hungry. But whatever the case, Nayeon is thankful. At least as they walk, it seems a little easier.

The restaurant is just a few blocks from campus, and Nayeon can’t deny the way her stomach growls at the scent of food that hits them when they enter. It takes over from the nerves a little. At least until she’s placed right opposite Dahyun. But Jeongyeon is next to her, and it makes it a little easier. Not that she’ll ever tell her that.

“So what majors are you all in?” Dahyun asks as soon as soon as their orders have been taken.

“Oh, I’m in media and communication and so is Jeongie.” Sana says.

“Don’t call me that, you know I hate nicknames.” Jeongyeon growls. Sana giggles and ignores Jeongyeon, instead telling a bit about what their major actually entails. Jeongyeon and Sana a year under Nayeon, but close since they started being roommates, and by now Nayeon couldn’t imagine her daily life without them, even if they’re the personification of chaos whenever they combined their headassery skills.

“What about you, unnie?” Dahyun looks curiously at Nayeon once Sana is done talking.

“Uh, media production. You know, filming and producing and that stuff.” Nayeon says.

Dahyun looks like the sun. “That’s amazing! I can’t say I’m surprised, but I’m so happy you actually ended up going for it.”

“Yeah, I mean I never thought I would, and I was actually aiming for med school for so long. But I think somewhere along the way, I just couldn’t get myself to do it, when I actually didn’t want to be a doctor.” Nayeon shrugs.

“I’m glad you went with your dream. I mean, I remember all those videos we made. You always told me what to do and how cute I looked, and gave me scripts to perform.” Dahyun grins, making a little pose like she’s filming.

“Well, you were the only one who didn’t mind me bossing them around. My sisters refused for sure.” Nayeon feels her cheeks pink a little, not unaware that Sana and Jeongyeon are looking at her with great interest.

“I never minded.” Dahyun assures her. “I think maybe that’s one of the reasons I got to love movies and dramas so much too. I mean I’m majoring in law, but that’s mainly because I didn’t do what you did - I went for what my folks wanted.”

“Law? What happened to your music?” Nayeon asks, just as the waiter brings them drinks.

Jeongyeon thanks for the drinks and they all bow politely at him.

“I still play for myself.” Dahyun returns to the conversation casually. “But I never really got past dreaming as far as film composition came. Maybe I should’ve though, we could’ve ended up working together, unnie.” 

Nayeon feels a little tug in her stomach, though different from the other times.

“Yeah…”

She doesn’t know what else to say, but once again Jeongyeon comes to her aid.

“What about you?” Jeongyeon directs the conversation to Mina, the only one left to tell a little about herself.

“I’m a law student too.” Mina says, her voice soft but clear.

“So you decided to go here together?” Sana asks curiously.

“Oh, no, we didn’t know each other before introduction.” Mina clarifies. “Dahyun just asked if we could help each other move in because we live in the same dorm. I don’t… I mean I don’t really know anyone here. Except now I know you guys, I guess?”

Nayeon can’t help but smile. It makes her happy somehow, to know that Dahyun is as apparent now as she was back then. And maybe that’s the reason it doesn’t take much more than that for Nayeon to forget her guilt, and dive into the night with a lot less worry than she had expected.

“Dahyun?” Nayeon asks as they head back to the dorm. She can hear Mina and Sana talking about Japan somewhere behind them.

“Huh?” Dahyun looks up at Nayeon, a plastic spoon comically in her mouth. She’s the only one yet to finish her shaved ice.

“How come you’re even in college? Aren’t you ‘98?” Nayeon asks.

Dahyun takes the spoon out of her mouth, and looks a little sheepish. “I am, but I skipped a grade shortly after you moved.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Nayeon chuckles. “You always were so damn brainy, I felt like you were smarter than me most of the time.”

“But you taught me everything I know, so really, it’s all your doing.” Dahyun insists, pushing the door to their dorm open and holding it for the other four.

Dahyun makes to continue the conversation inside by not walking up the stairs to the dorm rooms, but Mina quickly excuses herself and it becomes the cue for all of them to end the night.

“We should do this again sometime.” Jeongyeon says.

“Definitely! We’ll make plans.” Dahyun says, and Mina nods in agreement.

Even Nayeon feels maybe it wouldn’t be too bad. At least until Dahyun nudges Nayeon and sends her a grin with the comment.

“You’re coming too, right? Next time, I mean? We still have a lot of years to cover since you left.”

Right… Nayeon left. And it’s not like Sana wasn’t right - Nayeon did have a lot of stuff going on, and people do drift apart. But Dahyun isn’t just people. And Nayeon should’ve done better. Nayeon just doesn’t know how to say that. Doesn’t know how to tell Dahyun that she shouldn’t be this forgiving. That she should expect more of Nayeon. That she can’t just let Nayeon off the hook like this. At least, Dahyun should be mad or something. Disappointed. Express her feelings about the abandonment Nayeon and her entire family subjected the girl to. 

“Unnie?” Dahyun’s worried voice brings Nayeon back to reality so fast it almost makes her dizzy.

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” Nayeon nods. She’s not really sure what she’s saying yes to.

“Great! I’ll see you around then.” Dahyun beams, and then, to Nayeon’s horror, wraps Nayeon up in a hug. Again. Second time in two days she’s been engulfed in the presence of this girl, and the second time it makes her feel the longing for peace and for the hug to never end.

“I missed you.” Dahyun mumbles, tightening her arms a little before drawing back.

“I- I missed you too.” Nayeon swallows. She really means it. It’s not that. She really did miss Dahyun. And maybe that’s why it’s so hard to get rid of the shame. Because she’s getting something back, that she for years was too ashamed to hope for, and now that she’s here, she doesn’t feel like she deserves it.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she notes how Dahyun hugs both Sana and Jeongyeon too, before skipping off, pulling Mina with her. Mina only waved at the others. But then again, she’s not really the hugging type, from what Nayeon can deduce.

“You okay?” Sana asks by her side.

Nayeon nods. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

It’s a lie, and they all know it. But they also know that Nayeon will talk when she’s ready and not a moment before. Sana’s question was just testing the waters, finding them unwelcome still. So instead of talking about it, they just head back to the room and settle as usual on Nayeon’s bed, Jeongyeon on the right, Nayeon on the left and Sana in the middle. Just the way she likes it. And Nayeon manages to watch almost ten minutes of their show before she thinks about Dahyun. Manages another five. Then another three. But the more she tries not to think about her, the harder it gets.

“Maybe I should just talk to her for real.” Nayeon groans halfway through the episode. “Tell her I’m sorry, I mean.”

“Yeah. You probably should.” Jeongyeon shrugs.

That’s the end of it. They just continue the episode, even if Nayeon has to physically stop herself from checking her phone every two minutes. But it doesn’t matter in the end. Dahyun hasn’t texted. Doesn’t text all night, nor the next day. And Nayeon is halfway convinced the shoe finally dropped for Dahyun. At least until they’re halfway through lunch two days later, and Dahyun is suddenly sitting down opposite Nayeon, Mina faithfully by her side.

“Hi!” Sana exclaims happily. Nayeon feels the urge to poke her with a fork, quite aware of the tone in Sana’s voice.

“Hey, sorry, I hope you don’t mind us joining.” Dahyun says.

“Not at all!” Jeongyeon says immediately. Nayeon hates both of them.

“Great.” Dahyun nudges Mina slightly, making her giggle. “Mina wasn’t sure if we would intrude, but I told her you wouldn’t mind.”

“No, you’re always welcome.” Jeongyeon assures them.

“Good.” Mina smiles.

“I saw you filming around the C-building earlier, what was it for?” Dahyun asks, swiftly looking at Nayeon before focusing on getting jjimdak onto her spoon.

“Oh, it’s an intro project, nothing big. It’s the first cross-major project. We’re going to make an actual short-movie by the end of the year, and this is the first time we’re being teamed up to make a full crew.” Nayeon explains.

“Oh, nice. Do you have a script already?”

“No, just an idea, we’re just shooting some location scenes while the writing team works on theirs, because we know the mood and rough idea.” Nayeon notes proudly. It had been her idea to do it like that, as her experience is, that they always end up in a time pinch.

Dahyun looks impressed, and while Sana starts conversing with Mina, Dahyun asks more about the movie. And it feels almost normal. Even the next day, and the days following that, it feels almost normal to have Dahyun and Mina join them at lunch. As if their group has suddenly expanded from three to five. It’s almost habit by now. Jeongyeon in the middle between Sana and Nayeon on one side, Dahyun across from Nayeon and Mina next to her. 

Nayeon looks around at Dahyun on the fourth day she joins them, though she’s admittedly slightly unfocused. She had been so busy trying to see who the new girl at another third year table was. Sowon’s group usually didn’t take newcomers, but the short haired girl is most definitely not in Nayeon’s year. Not that Nayeon cared much, but Sana had noted it yesterday, and it had woken Nayeon’s curiousity.

“Did your friend finish the dialogue yet?” Dahyun asks, claiming Nayeon’s attention.

“Oh, almost, we’re going to start the real shoots on Sunday, when most people will be gone from campus.” Nayeon says.

For a moment she’s about to elaborate, but the next she hesitates. It’s almost like there’s a pattern in the past days. The way Dahyun always asks her something that invites long answers, the way she always makes sure to listen and inquire further… it’s almost like she’s trying to accomodate Nayeon. As if she knows Nayeon isn’t comfortable. As if she’s making it her sole purpose to make sure Nayeon gets comfortable. But the realization that it’s probably exactly what Dahyun is doing, just makes it even worse. It shouldn’t be like this. Nayeon should be making up for her past, not being assured all the time. But it’s so easy to slip into old habits, and Dahyun’s sparkling eyes are exactly the same, and the attention makes Nayeon feel wonderful even if she doesn’t deserve it.

But what if that was all it was back then? Dahyun needed somewhere to stay, and Nayeon needed someone to see her. So Nayeon made a space for Dahyun, and Dahyun saw her. She always saw her; always wanted to know more; always strived for Nayeon’s standards; always made Nayeon feel wanted. 

“Nay?” Jeongyeon nudges Nayeon’s knee under the table.

“Huh?” Nayeon looks around at her.

“You zoned out.”

“Oh, sorry, I just remembered I forgot something in relation to the project. I have to go.” Nayeon gets up. Bangs her knee against the underside of the table and curses. But she still leaves. Without another word, without even putting away her tray, she leaves.

Was that really it? Was that really all Dahyun was? That she had ever been? Well, Nayeon had said it herself. She liked having a sister who wasn’t her actual sister. Because her actual sisters never showed that they cared. They never wanted to be around her. But Dahyun wanted her. Dahyun adored her, still seemingly does. And Nayeon likes being adored. She really loves it. But right now, all it does is make her feel nauseous.

Nayeon decides in that moment, that whatever was about to rekindle between herself and Dahyun, won’t get to. That there’s no way she’s going to risk hurting Dahyun one more time. It’s just the thing that Dahyun is exceptionally hard to avoid. Maybe because Jeongyeon seems insistent on bringing the two freshmen along to anything, or maybe because Sana keeps including them in their conversations when they’re alone. But even without the meddling of tinhat and brickhead, it seems that fate has a way of making them bump into each other. Because suddenly she’s there, heading down the stairs to their dorm hallway, just as Nayeon is about to head up.

“Hi,” Dahyun’s voice is happy as always, though possibly a little cautious too, “haven’t seen you around much.”

“What? Oh, sorry. No, I’ve been busy.” Nayeon bites the inside of her cheek uncomfortably. She walks up the stairs at the same time as Dahyun walks down towards her.

“Right, yeah, Jeongyeon-unnie said.” 

Nayeon doesn’t know what she’s supposed to say, so she just passes Dahyun.

“Sorry, I have to-”

“She’s a good friend, you know.” Dahyun notes, and something in her voice makes Nayeon freeze. Makes her turn and look down and Dahyun. “Covering for you like that…”

It takes a moment for Nayeon to decipher the expression on Dahyun’s face. It’s one she’s been begging to see for the past two weeks. Hurt.

“I don’t-” Nayeon cringes. What is she even trying to say? Dahyun is right. And she’s too smart for her own good, like always. And Nayeon wants nothing more than to take back every hope she ever had that Dahyun wouldn’t be so forgiving. Because this expression on the younger girl’s face is too much to bear.

“You what?” Dahyun asks. She’s not mad. Nayeon knows that. She just wants answers. And Nayeon doesn’t know how to give them to her on such short notice. She needs more time. Needs- she’s not even sure what she needs. Space. She needs space.

“I have to go.” Nayeon croaks. Continues up the stairs.

“Is this how it’s going to be, unnie?” Footsteps reveal that Dahyun is following her up the stairs, but Nayeon ignores her. Until another sound takes over for the taps of feet on wooden steps. A hard thump. Then a gasp of pain and a whine. Nayeon spins on the top step. Dahyun sits halfway up the stairs in a weird angle. She must’ve stumbled up the stairs.

Nayeon is suddenly ten again, looking down at Dahyun on the stairs in her home. She had stumbled there too - had sprained her ankle in the process - and Nayeon had been about to fight every single staircase in the world for hurting Dahyun.

Dahyun doesn’t look up at Nayeon. But Nayeon quickly descend the steps until she reaches the girl.

“Here.” Nayeon says softly, bending down to help Dahyun up, an arm around her waist and the other holding Dahyun’s arm around the older girl’s shoulder.

“Sorry, I fell.” Dahyun whimpers. But she lets Nayeon help her up.  

“You’re okay, let’s just get you up.” Nayeon’s instincts take over, the entire last week forgotten. All she can think about is whether or not the refrigerator by the common area will have ice.

Dahyun doesn’t seem to mind the change in mood. She just lets Nayeon help her to the kitchen and sit her down on the couch with an instruction to take off her shoes. Meanwhile, Nayeon finds ice and a towel, wrapping the ice up and kneeling by Dahyun’s feet.

“Can I?” Nayeon asks, hands hesitating on either side of Dahyun’s foot.

Dahyun nods, but winces when Nayeon examines her foot. 

“It’s not too bad.” Dahyun says.

Nayeon sends her a stern look on reflex, and Dahyun smiles.

“Okay, so a little bad.” Dahyun says, sunshine in her voice right until Nayeon tries wriggling the foot a little. Then she’s back to wincing.

“You’re going to get the doctor to look at this tomorrow, okay?” Nayeon says, taking the ice and wrapping it around the area she judges needs it the most.

Dahyun nods and bites her lip.

“Too tight?”

“No, it’s fine.” Dahyun assures her.

Nayeon nods. Looks down at Dahyun’s foot and then remembers.

_ She’s a good friend, you know - covering for you like that. _

Nayeon sighs. Closes her eyes. Right.

“You can tell me. Whatever is going on.” Dahyun says.

“It’s nothing.” The answer comes before Nayeon can even consider a different one, and she’s immediately ashamed of herself.

Dahyun doesn’t say anything. Does she really read Nayeon that easily?

It’s the longest silence of Nayeon’s entire life, as she finds the words.

“... Why aren’t you mad at me?”

She can’t look at Dahyun. Well, not at her face. Instead, she stares at the ice around Dahyun’s foot.

“Why should I be?” Dahyun finally asks. “I have no reason to, and honestly, I think one of us being mad at you is more than enough.”

Nayeon looks up. Finds a soft grin on Dahyun’s face. It hurts.

“You have every reason in the world to hate me. I spent so long trying to be all that your parents couldn’t be, and in the end, I was no better.”

Dahyun hums. “My parents did what they could. So did you. I don’t see why I should be mad at either of you.”

“You’re not mad at your parents?”

“I missed them, but I knew why they worked so much. My uncle put them in a lot of debt and they worked hard to make sure I could still get an education. And that’s what I’m doing now.”

Nayeon looks up at Dahyun. She never knew that. She just saw a kid with parents who were never there. Did she ever even ask? Had she cared to go beyond the vision of Dahyun she had created in her head? Probably not.

The thought makes Nayeon’s insides turn and she averts her gaze again. How does anyone even bother with someone as self-centered as her.

“Unnie?” 

There’s an implicit question about what’s wrong in that word, but Nayeon is too busy fighting the urge to run, to remember to answer.

“Nayeon-unnie, talk to me.” Dahyun’s voice is soft.

Nayeon sighs. She has to come clean.

“You have every right to be mad at me. To despise me. I never treated you well, and when I moved away - I just couldn’t, I didn’t know how to keep writing you. It was like I just… forgot about you? I forgot how important you were to me. And I was so selfish and just focused on trying to get new friends that I lost the one friend I had. I was careless with you. I didn’t bother. And even back when we were neighbors, I can’t remember a single time we did what you wanted. I can’t remember asking how your day was, or what you wanted to do, I-“

“That’s not true.” Dahyun shakes her head. “You might not remember, but I do. You always asked what I learned, and you learned my routines at night so I could sleep over safely. You knew the names of all fifteen of my stuffed animals and their relationships with each other. And when I stumbled on the stairs you carried me down and made your dad take me to the hospital, and you carried me all the way inside, because you didn’t trust the wheelchair.”

Nayeon looks up at her oldest friend. Her mind is buzzing with information and slowly returning memories.

“Unnie, we always did what you wanted, because we already did what I wanted, by being together. And when you moved away, I could read it in your messages, that you were unhappy, that they bullied you. You tried not to tell me, but you did a little bit anyway. And I figured it would be better for you if I wasn’t there for a while. So I let you be. But when I was moved up a year, I got so busy, that I forgot to check up on you again. And then time just… passed. I know you think this, but you’re not universally to blame for everything, Unnie. You didn’t abandon me, we just drifted apart. And I was sad we did, but that’s why I’m so happy now that we get another chance. So I’d really rather if you didn’t let your martyr brain stop my chance of getting my unnie back.”

Nayeon’s fingers are cold as she holds around the towel, making sure of the bruised area of Dahyun’s foot. She feels dizzy. Feels a little bit like crying, and a little bit like laughing. Mostly she just feels liberated. Feels lighter. And looking up at Dahyun, she finds that she’s seeing her properly for the first time in seven years. 

“What?” Dahyun asks, a nervous chuckle following her question.

“Nothing.” Nayeon smiles. “... I missed you.”

Dahyun beams, but immediately winces as Nayeon adjusts her grip on Dahyun’s foot to sit crossed-legged on the floor.

“Sorry.” Nayeon sends Dahyun an apologetic smile.

“It’s fine, you didn’t ask the stairs to trip me over like that.” Dahyun tries to wink, but fails miserably, and Nayeon can’t help but snort at her. 

She’s absolutely ridiculous, this girl in front of Nayeon. Always has been. And Nayeon loves that about her. To be fair, she’s probably the only person in the world whose humor is as weird as Nayeon’s. Or maybe Nayeon just influenced her too much as kids. But nonetheless, it’s something Jeongyeon notes a week later, as they’re out for friday night barbeque. It’s almost become a ritual already.

“How is it that you’re both so strange?” Jeongyeon asks, still halfway coughing from choking on her soda. She had gotten it stuck in her throat after a staring contest with Dahyun that the younger won by sticking her tongue out until it touched her nose and then winking in that completely ridiculous manner.

“It’s proportional to intelligence, Jeongie.” Nayeon smirks.

“Yeah, we all know Dahyun is smarter than ought to be allowed, but your dumbass kind of breaks that correlation.” Jeongyeon retorts with just about zero shame.

Mina giggles, and Sana looks like she’s about to join in, but then Dahyun’s phone buzzes and the conversation dies.

Nayeon looks over at Dahyun as she frowns down at her phone.

“You good?” Nayeon asks.

“Yeah, just some issues with processing my tuition, but I’m working it out.” Dahyun assures them. “My mom was just asking if I had been in contact with the financial office here.”

“Oh, well, if it’s anything any of us can help with, we’re here.” Sana says immediately.

“Thanks, but I think I have it sorted.” Dahyun sends her a grin.

“Of course! Then we’re just here for fun.” Sana hunches her shoulders slightly and tilts her head.

Nayeon really hates it. She’s doing all that knowing she’s not supposed to go for Dahyun, but the way Dahyun is grinning awkwardly back at her makes Nayeon nervous. What if Dahyun falls for Sana and it ends up hurting her?

“So we were talking about going to noraebang after dinner.” Jeongyeon cuts into the mood, and Nayeon loves her for it.

“Oh, yes, do you want to come along?” Sana asks Dahyun.

“... I’m not sure, I’m pretty tired to be honest. I’ve been dealing with the tuition thing all day.” Dahyun’s smile is wide, but her eyes tell a truth belonging to her words.

“Sure, okay. Nayeon?”

“Nah, I’ll sit out too.” Nayeon says. She’s not really sure.

“Guess it’s just us then.” Jeongyeon nudges Sana and then sends a grin across the table to Mina. 

And so, Nayeon ends up walking back with Dahyun while the other three head further away from campus. She’s not really sure why she said no. Gods know she loves noraebang more than anyone. But maybe it’s the fact that she doesn’t want to let Dahyun go home alone, or maybe her spidey sense just went off at the change in Dahyun’s mood. But no matter the cause, she’s suddenly outside Dahyun’s room, and Dahyun is sending her a tired smile.

“Make sure you get some sleep, okay?” Nayeon says.

“I will, but I’ll probably watch something first, you know, to wind down. There’s a new episode out of a drama I’ve just started watching.”

Nayeon nods. “That’s a good idea.”

“You’re welcome to join if you want?” Dahyun’s eyelids droop slightly, but her voice is sincere.

Nayeon considers it, but doesn’t want to bother Dahyun, in case she just said it to be polite. And it’s almost like Dahyun can read her damn mind, because the next second she’s smiling at Nayeon in the most reassuring manner.

“Unnie, I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want you to.”

“Right.”

And that’s really all the explanation needed to figure out how Nayeon ends up sitting on Dahyun’s bed in Dahyun’s clothes. Well, the latter is most efficiently explained by the chocolate milk Nayeon spilled down her shirt and onto her jeans within the first five minutes of the episode, the incident only furthered by Dahyun’s laughter and Nayeon’s subsequent fluster.

“Do you have a cloth or something?” Nayeon asks with a whine.

Dahyun tries to gather herself, and she shakes her head. “I have a sink though, we can soak it and see if it goes away?”

“I- Yeah.” Nayeon was about to say that maybe she should just go back to her own room. But she doesn’t. And so, she ends up in Dahyun’s pyjamas, the checkered pyjama pants a little too short and the shirt way too big.

“You still sleep in these kind of clothes, huh.” Nayeon notes. She still vividly remembers how Dahyun never had the pretty pink nightwear like Nayeon and her sisters, but instead always slept in boy pyjamas.

“It’s actually just my homewear.” There’s a slight blush on Dahyun’s cheeks.

Nayeon shouldn’t be surprised. Dahyun is just that comfort first kind of girl. 

“Guess that means I’m home then.” Nayeon kicks her leg a little to highlight the pants, and then settles back on Dahyun’s bed where the computer is paused on the episode they were watching.

“Guess so.” Dahyun says quietly, sitting down next to Nayeon. She yawns heavily, hiding it behind her mouth.

“Just kick me out whenever.” Nayeon says.

“It’s okay, I’m not-” Dahyun yawns again, “Not that tired.”

“Sure, Jan.” Nayeon rolls her eyes, and Dahyun laughs sleepily. She’s really a completely different person. Not as much her outlook on life, but more the energy she gives off. Instead of supercharging her surroundings, she seems to be slowing the heartbeat of her surroundings. Nayeon’s too. Makes it harder to suggest they do this another time. So they start the episode back up. Sit side by side and watch quietly as the show progresses in a possibly promising way.

“I can’t decide yet if I like this or not.” Nayeon notes as the episode comes to a close, doing the usual recap with filtered pictures and sparkles on the edge of the screen. “But I usually give it a few episodes.”

Dahyun doesn’t answer, doesn’t even react. And when Nayeon turns to look at the girl, sitting against the wall with a pillow propped against the small of her back, Nayeon realizes why. She’s dead asleep.

A hum escapes Nayeon, and she softly closes the laptop and puts it on the floor, halfway under the bed so it’s not at risk of being stepped on in the morning. Then she crawls off the bed and walks around to Dahyun’s side. With one arm behind Dahyun’s back and one under her knees, Nayeon lifts ever so gently until the girl is lying down properly. Then she takes off the thick glasses and finally tugs the covers up until they cover Dahyun’s body properly.

Nayeon doesn’t leave immediately. Really, don’t ask her why, because she doesn’t have a clue, but instead of leaving, she crouches beside Dahyun’s bed, and watches her for a minute. She looks almost the same in her sleep as she did when she was ten. She still makes fists around the fabric of the sheets, and her nostrils still flare slightly comically. 

Dahyun moves in her sleep, and a hair falls into her face, but right as Nayeon raises a hand to move it, the door opens, and Nayeon snaps around to look, immediately on her feet.

“See you!” Mina calls out the door before closing it. She freezes on the spot as soon as she sees Nayeon.

“Hey.” Nayeon says as quietly as possible. Her cheeks are warm. “She fell asleep, I was just leaving.”

Mina looks from Nayeon to Dahyun and back again. Her cheeks are visibly warm too. Then she nods. “I’ll be quiet.”

Nayeon smiles. When is she ever not quiet?

“I put her computer under the bed.” Nayeon mentions in a hushed voice as she walks over to Mina. “Did you have fun?”

Mina nods, her grin wide and her eyes sparkling. She’s an odd one. But Nayeon likes her a lot. She seemed too shy at first, but while she still doesn’t say much, her expressions have changed a lot in the past weeks.

“I’ll come next time.” Nayeon promises.

Mina seems to like that, though Nayeon isn’t sure if it’s the promised presence of herself or just the fact that there’s going to be a next time. Maybe both.

With that, Nayeon bids Mina goodnight, grabs her bag with her clothes and looks back at Dahyun fast asleep on the bed. She really hasn’t changed a bit. It’s just parts of her that Nayeon had forgotten, but now is relearning. The two Dahyuns.

The two Dahyuns was an explanatory concept Dahyun herself came up with when she wasn’t very old. She described it as want-to-be Dahyun and is-when-sleepy Dahyun. Probably most people have those sides. The side you show when you have enough energy, where you strive to be someone, and then the person who’s more of an autopilot setting. Nayeon certainly did. But it had taken Nayeon quite a while to figure out that Dahyun also did. She always hid the is-when-sleepy Dahyun well, right until she couldn’t. She hid her with laughter and jokes and her special way of getting people to talk about themselves in depth. Nayeon had forgotten about that Dahyun, the one she didn’t like people seeing, until tonight. Not that tonight was bad at all. It was just the confusion and worries of the first few weeks that had made her forget that there was much more to Dahyun than just the energy ball full of bright smiles and unwavering compassion.

“What on earth are you wearing?” Jeongyeon’s voice brings Nayeon back to reality. She wasn’t even aware that she had gotten back to her own room, let alone entered it.

“Huh?” Nayeon looks down at herself. The yellow and black checkered pyjama pants are a little short on her.

Sana immediately seems to smell gossip, because she sits up in her bed, leaning on her elbows, eyes glistening.

“Nayeonnie... Those aren’t your clothes.”

“Thank you, I’m aware.”

“Then  _ whose _ ?” Sana couldn’t be less obvious if she tried.

“Stop it, I spilled chocolate milk and she lent me some of her clothes.” 

Nayeon tries to let it slide like that, but Sana obviously isn’t much for it.

“So nothing happened?” Sana sounds distrusting and slightly disappointed.

“What would happen, we just watched a drama, it’s not like I’m questioning you for going out to noraebang with Mina, am I?” Nayeon rolls her eyes.

“You could.” Sana shrugged. “Though she’s not really my type.”

“See?” Nayeon flops down on her bed, her calm heartbeat not at all playing along with whatever Sana is trying to start. 

“Mh, guess there’s no harm in me asking her out then.” Sana hums innocently. “After all, while Mina isn’t as much my type, Dahyun definitely is.”

“Don’t you dare.” Nayeon sits up too fast.

“Oh?” Sana looks way too smug.

Nayeon doesn’t know what to say. Isn’t there some sister code going on here? You don’t date friends’ siblings? Not that Dahyun is her sister. But they grew up together - at least for a while. But- okay, so maybe the sister code isn’t really relevant. But there must be some code that is.

“Don’t mind her.” Jeongyeon says, cutting into Nayeon’s train of thought. “She’s been in a mood all night.”

“Have not.” Sana tuts, turning onto her side on her bed. “I’m just trying to make a point.”

“Well, stop it.” Jeongyeon rolls her eyes. “Can’t you just find a girlfriend of your own instead?”

“Maybe I should. You know, I saw this really cute first year-”

“No!” Jeongyeon and Nayeon say together. Loudly.

Sana’s laughter ricochets off the wall. “Jeez. Touchy much? I was talking about the Park girl who always hangs out with Sowon-unnie, just so you know.”

“Sure.” Jeongyeon’s voice drips with sarcasm.

Nayeon settles for scowling at Sana - and for throwing a pillow in her face for good measure. Jeongyeon is right. She’s been in an unusually teasy mood lately. Not that Nayeon can even find her annoying for it. She just really hopes that the Park girl is up for her, or she’ll have to find more pillows to throw at Sana. The one she threw before has now become Sana’s cuddle buddy. But then again - a few swift moves across the room and Sana is now Nayeon’s.

“Needy much?” Sana chuckles as Nayeon’s arms sneak around Sana’s waist under the covers.

“Shut, you stole my pillow so I’m stealing you.”

“One, you threw your pillow at me, and two, you’re not my type either.” Sana tries not to giggle as she talks, but the next moment she’s busy howling, as Nayeon pokes her belly-button to shut her up.

“Get her off me!” Sana complains, laughing so hard she can barely get the plea out. “Jeongie! Help me!”

Jeongyeon makes a very valid point of point blank ignoring Sana, leaving her to her fate. Though she doesn’t seem to mind it much once Nayeon stops tickling and poking at her. In fact, she’s asleep in Nayeon’s arms before Nayeon has gotten a chance to go get ready for bed.

“Why do people keep falling asleep on me?” Nayeon grumbles, trying to retreat her arms without waking the blonde girl still cuddled around Nayeon’s pillow.

“Dahyun fell asleep too?” Jeongyeon guesses.

“Yeah, I tucked her in before I left.” Nayeon says, finally managing to free herself. Sana whines in her sleep, but a few strokes over her hair is all it takes to settle her again. What a baby.

“Cute.” Jeongyeon snorts. “You’re really getting close fast.”

“Well, we knew each other inside out when we were younger so I guess it’s just like revising - it’s all in there somewhere and once you know it, it doesn’t take long to recall.” Nayeon walks across the room to their shared bathroom.

It really feels like that. As if something is just falling into place because there always was a place. She always had a place in Nayeon’s mind and heart, so it’s easy for her to find her way back there. Easier now that they’ve gotten all the guilt out of the way. Maybe a little too easy. But Nayeon doesn’t mind it. She’s just happy to have her friend back without feeling like her insides are trying to rearrange themselves with guilt. 

Sana tones it down after that night. Possibly softened by being the little spoon for a night or maybe she just realized that there really is nothing to tease Nayeon about. Or the third reason, that she’s finally gotten a foot in the door with Sowon’s group.

“So how much do you think I’d have to sacrifice to be invited to one of the infamous parties?” Sana asks a few days later at lunch. She leans back in her chair and looks over at Sowon’s table for a moment.

“More than your dignity, obviously.” Jeongyeon comments dryly. Then winces and looks down at her food. Seems Sana had kicked her under the table. They had switched up their seating a bit recently, Dahyun now next to Nayeon and Jeongyeon opposite Sana. It didn’t seem to stop latter two from bickering.

“They’re pretty nice.” Dahyun shrugs. “You could probably just ask.”

Sana snaps around to look at her. “You know them?”

Dahyun shrugs. “Not directly, but Jihyo-unnie is in a few of my classes, she’s the short haired one next to Sowon-unnie. Jihyo-unnie says they’re nice.”

“Could you get us in?” Sana looks like an overly excited puppy, and it makes Dahyun chuckle.

“I don’t know, maybe?” Dahyun shrugs, but then glances at Nayeon for a moment before turning back to Sana. “I’ll try and talk to Jihyo-unnie tomorrow.”

“Honestly, I don’t get why you’re selling yourself this hard for a freshman.” Jeongyeon rolls her eyes.

“Freshman?” Mina asks, almost as if she took it as an insult.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean- I just-”

“Good job, Jeong.” Nayeon says dryly when Jeongyeon keeps spluttering. Then she turns to Mina who still looks confused. “It’s nothing against freshmen as such, it’s just that Sana normally doesn’t put this much effort into getting a date. She usually just asks straight out.”

“Not straight. Never straight, excuse you.” Sana notes. Nayeon sends her a little smile and a shake of the head.

“You’re into Jihyo-unnie?” Dahyun asks curiously.

“Not into her, but she’s hot, so I want to talk to her. That’s it.” Sana assures, her voice a little more insistent than necessary.

Nayeon can’t help but enjoy the way Sana flusters. It’s nice not to be the target for once. A little bit of payback. And the way Dahyun is smirking makes it really hard not to appreciate her presence.

“Stop, it’s not serious.” Sana whines when Nayeon keeps smirking at her. “You have to agree she’s hot, right?”

“Of course, I’m not blind, I just really love karma.” Nayeon hums happily, making everyone at the table laugh, except Sana. Sana looks mostly like she’s considering if she can stick a fry up Nayeon’s nostril in public without revealing the actual five year old living inside the girl’s twenty-one year old body. Nayeon loves it. But she loves it even more when Dahyun comes skipping over the next day announcing that Sana is officially invited to Sowon’s party friday.

“Not all of us?” Sana asks, a nervous pitch in her voice.

Nayeon can barely keep it together. For however smug and targeting Sana seems to be, she’s really just a kid underneath it all. Actual five year old.

“I mean, she didn’t specify, she just said we could come.” Dahyun shrugged.

“I’ll take that ‘we’ as in ‘all five of us’.” Sana says decidedly.

“And what if we don’t want to go?” Jeongyeon asks, eyes narrowed at Sana.

“Then suck it up and come anyway.” Sana shrugs.

Jeongyeon turns to Nayeon for support, but the idea of seeing Sana navigate her way through a crowd of third years is way too fun to let go, so Nayeon just shrugs at her. Jeongyeon groans.

“Fine, I’ll go.” 

Nayeon pretends she doesn’t know that Jeongyeon will go wherever Nayeon and Sana are. She loves them too much to stay home when they aren’t.

“Mina, are you coming too?” Sana asks, making doe-eyes at Mina.

“I-” Mina blushes slightly at Sana’s gaze. “I’m not really much of a party person…”

“Come on, please Minari, please?” Sana pouts, reaching for Mina’s hands and swinging their arms between them. “Please?”

Mina giggles. Presses her lips together. “Maybe.”

Sana pouts even more, whining and begging as if it’s actually Mina she has plans for. Nayeon can barely look at it, the second hand embarrassment kicking in big time.

“Don’t make her go if she doesn’t want to.” Jeongyeon crosses her arms in front of her.

Sana purses her lips in dismay but lets Mina’s hands go. But Mina doesn’t let go of Sana’s.

“... I’ll go.”

Sana beams and turns to look at Nayeon.

“Oh, no need to convince me, I want to see this.” Nayeon grins. Then looks over at Dahyun. “If you really think it’s okay that we all come along.”

“I’ll make sure it is.” Dahyun says, saluting.

Nayeon snorts and ruffles Dahyun’s hair until she whines. Jeongyeon sends her a curious look but Nayeon doesn’t understand it. She just helps Dahyun correct the mess her hair has become, and gives her the okay.

Dahyun shows up with an okay from Sowon only half a day later, knocking on the door to Nayeon’s room.

“You’re in, Saturday next week at eight, I’ll text you the address and stuff.” Dahyun says, standing in the little entry-part of the room, clearly unsure of whether she’s supposed to just go away again immediately.

“Thank you so much, Dahyunnie.” Sana gets up from the bed, eyes big and smile sweet.

“Of course.” Dahyun looks down at her slippers for a moment and then back up at Sana. “Parties are almost always fun, right? And if Sowon is good at hosting then there’s no doubt this will be good too.”

Sana nods.

Dahyun bites her lip.

Nayeon hates the silence.

“Do you want to watch a movie with us?” Nayeon asks, not really bothering with the fact that the bed doesn’t even comfortably hold three without spooning. “We were about to watch the old Iron Man movie, if you’re into-”

“Sure. If you- I mean,” Dahyun looks past Nayeon at the bed.

“We can move the pillows and covers onto the floor and make a pile.” Jeongyeon suggests before Nayeon can come up with a better solution.

“If it’s not too much trouble.” Dahyun nods.

“Not at all.” Sana grins. Nayeon makes a mental note to situate herself between Sana and Dahyun. Even if she says she’s after the first year from Sowon’s group, Nayeon still doesn’t trust her not to tease Dahyun. And she doesn’t trust Dahyun not to fall for Sana. Sana-Syndrome isn’t exactly an unknown condition amongst the freshmen. Or sophomores… or anyone really. Everyone just lowkey (or highkey) crushes on her, at least temporarily. It’s pretty impossible not to. Not that Nayeon is crushing on her. She was, for like a week, but then it passed. She’s not really crushing on anyone much. Hasn’t been since Sana, now that she’s thinking about it. But whatever, it’s just less to distract from the studies and her friends. 

“Did you already start it?” Dahyun asks curiously once they’re finally settled on the heap of blankets and pillows, the youngest squashed between Jeongyeon and Nayeon. She doesn’t seem to mind.

“Well, three minutes, but we’ll just start it over.” Jeongyeon says, ignoring Dahyun’s protests and starting the movie over.

Dahyun huffs slightly, and Nayeon knows it’s her hatred of people accommodating themselves to her. She prefers just to join whenever. But right now, it seems that the offer of M&Ms is enough to get her mind off it. Girl always did have a sweet tooth.

“Have you watched it before?” Sana asks from her space on the far left. (Nayeon has compromised by wrapping an arm around her shoulder to avoid her whining too much about losing her spot as the middle spoon.)

“Half of it right at the start of term? I think I fell asleep, we watched it at two in the morning or something.” Dahyun frowns like she’s trying to remember. “Yeah, I think it was this one.”

“Mina show it to you?” Jeongyeon asks.

“Yeap.” Dahyun chuckles slightly. “We watched three movies that night and I passed out halfway through this one.”

“I think making it through two and a half is really impressive though.” Jeongyeon credits her.

Dahyun nods. “I guess that’s true.”

“I think making it through one superhero movie should award you a prize for endurance.” Sana says. It was definitely not her choice, this movie. She’s never really been much for superheroes. Maybe because she never really needed one. Or wanted to be one. She always just wanted to be herself. Always just wanted those around her to be so as well. And maybe that’s super enough to enchant all her surroundings.

Sana shuffles by Nayeon’s side, curling to lean more and more on Nayeon until her head is in Nayeon’s lap. Nayeon in turn moves the laptop a little so it’s better centered. And Dahyun then shuffles too. Leans her head on Nayeon’s shoulder. Nayeon smiles. Dahyun used to lean on her like this when they were kids. Well, actually she’d end up like Sana is now, with her head in Nayeon’s lap and Nayeon’s fingers in her hair, braiding it or just gently combing through it. There’s a moment where Nayeon almost wishes Sana could sit back up so Dahyun could lay there instead. But there wasn’t space and it would be weird and- nah.

“How is it that I’m laying here all cuddly and cute and no-one is giving me any love?” Sana complains, bringing Nayeon back from thoughts of whether Dahyun’s hair is as thick as it was when she was a kid.

“Because I don’t like you.” Nayeon says on reflex.

“Rude.” Sana huffs. Then she gets up and moves with very little discretion around the other three to instead lay in Jeongyeon’s lap. Jeongyeon looks like she’s gonna say something, but the next moment Sana has her hand, burying it in the younger girl’s blonde hair.

Nayeon moves a little to accommodate the change in positions, and Dahyun looks up at her. Nayeon just smiles and moves a hair from Dahyun’s face before letting Dahyun rest on her shoulder again.

“Now this is the life.” Sana almost purrs.

“Don’t get used to it.” Jeongyeon hums. There isn’t even a hint of a threat in her voice.

Nayeon looks over at them the best she can with Dahyun’s head in the way. Sana is laying with a distant look in her eyes and Jeongyeon’s fingers massaging her scalp distractedly. It seems however, that she feels Nayeon’s eyes on her, for she looks up at her. Then looks at Dahyun. And then back at Nayeon again. Her eyebrows quirk and a smug smile spreads on her face. Nayeon feels lost. Why are they so intent on thinking Dahyun is anything more than a friend. They’re just trying to make up for lost time. They just enjoy each other’s company in a way no different from how all the other members of their little group enjoy each others’ company. Their group… funny how it’s become that so fast. The five of them. Except right now they’re only four.

At least until halfway through the movie when a knock on the door wakes Sana with a jolt.

“Come in.” Nayeon says loudly, combing through Dahyun’s thick hair. She’s slid down Nayeon’s front but not enough to lie in Nayeon’s lap. For that they’re scooted too close and Sana’s eyes are way too knowing. Not that they actually know anything, but they certainly think they do.

“Hi, I-” Mina’s voice makes Nayeon look back over at the door. “I was just looking for…”

Dahyun sits up fast, looking over at Mina who has one hand on the handle and one looking at Dahyun, darting momentarily to look at the still halfway sleeping Sana in Jeongyeon’s lap.

“Mina, sorry. I should’ve texted.” Dahyun sounds genuinely sorry.

“It’s okay.” Mina assures her. “I should’ve figured. Be quiet when you get back? I’m going to shower now and then sleep.”

“You don’t want to join?” Dahyun asks.

Mina looks from Dahyun to Nayeon and then down at Sana again. She shakes her head. “I’m tired.”

“Okay.” Dahyun doesn’t push it, and Nayeon assumes Dahyun knows best, so she doesn’t either, even if she’d love for Mina to join them.

“You sure you don’t want to join?” Jeongyeon unexpectedly pushes.

Mina looks over her. “Yeah, I don’t w- I’m tired.”

Nayeon starts thinking that might not be exactly the truth. But she can’t be sure. And Dahyun isn’t acting. Almost seems suspiciously glued to her seat. Normally Dahyun would jump at any sign of insecurity from the quiet girl.

“I’ll see you later.” Mina says.

Nayeon doesn’t know what to do. She can see that something is wrong, but doesn’t act. Not because she doesn’t want to. She just… doesn’t. And the door closes again, leaving the four alone and leaving Nayeon with a sense that maybe they should’ve invited Mina from the start. They even talked about her, how she loves these movies. Why hadn’t she thought to invite her? Did she feel left out?

“Sana, get up.” Jeongyeon says.

“Hm?” Sana blinks.

“Sit up.” Jeongyeon says again, not unkindly. Just purposefully.

Sana does so. And in less than five seconds, Jeongyeon is up and walking towards the door.

“Jeongyeon?” Nayeon doesn’t understand a single thing.

“I’ll be back, don’t wait for me.” Jeongyeon grabs her cotton coat and walks out. What is she even doing?

Nayeon opens her mouth to protest, but Sana very audibly presses the spacebar to start the movie again.

“Wh-” Nayeon looks around at her, but the stern look in her eyes makes her shut up.

Nayeon settles for confusion. Watches the rest of the movie in what’s basically a cuddle pile with Sana and Dahyun, finding Sana’s hums to be soothing and Dahyun’s laughter elating. Especially the laughter seems to replay long after Dahyun has left and Jeongyeon is back and they’re all pretending to be asleep.

None of them talk about any of it the next morning. Nor the next few days. In fact, the night might as well never have happened. At least until Saturday comes and Nayeon stands outside a bar in a dress that itches because it’s new, and Sana’s arms are around her neck.

“Nervous?” Nayeon asks, softly rubbing the skin of Sana’s arms.

“Mh, a little. Mostly just keeping you warm for Dahyunnie.” Sana teases.

“Will you  _ stop it _ ?!” Nayeon huffs. “We’re just friends!”

“I know you are. I’m just questioning whether that’s a mistake.”

“I don’t even know where you got the idea that I like her.”

“Well, for starters because you haven’t liked anyone since you crushed on me so it was about time and besides, you’re so obvious but so oblivious.”

Nayeon frees herself from Sana in less than two seconds, spinning around to stare at the blonde. “You- how did you know I used to- you know, on you?”

“You space out, and you stare a lot.” Sana shrugs. “I’m not dumb.”

“Sure, if you knew and didn’t go for it, I care to counterargue that you’re in fact really dumb.” Nayeon retorts. She can feel the warmth in her cheeks from being caught, but ignores it.

“What, you want to get with this?” Sana asks, leaning back a little, looking up and down her own body.

“Ew, no.” Nayeon grimaces.

“What about her then?” Sana asks, nodding behind Nayeon.

Once more Nayeon spins. This time to see two girls walking towards them. Dahyun’s blonde hair is wavy, falling down her front, and the powder blue dress accentuates her slim waist. It’s not exactly a  _ ‘she’s all that’ _ moment - Nayeon has never doubted Dahyun’s beauty. It’s just different tonight. She glows differently tonight. As if her usual goofy confidence has suddenly mixed with an air of elegance.

“See, this is what I mean when I say you stare.” Sana notes like an annoying buzzing bee in Nayeon’s ear. Nayeon waves her hand as if she is in fact an annoying buzzing bee. At least until her fingers collide with the side of Sana’s nose and the younger girl whines. But by then it’s too late anyway. Mina and Dahyun have reached them, Dahyun grinning as always, and Mina smiling shyly at Sana.

“You look amazing, unnie.” Dahyun says, nothing but honesty in her voice.

Nayeon shifts her footing. “So do you.”

“Thanks! Jeongyeon-unnie helped pick out the dress.”

“Gotta remember to thank her, then.” Sana says. “You look smoking hot.”

Dahyun flushes bright red, and Nayeon whacks Sana’s arm.

“What?! Do you disagree?” Sana challenges.

“No, but-” Nayeon clears her throat and looks back at Dahyun. She looks both amused and flustered. Nayeon gives up trying to explain herself, merely looking around for their last member.

“Jeong is a little late.” Mina says as if she read Nayeon’s mind.

Nayeon nods. “Should we just head in then?”

“Sounds good.” Dahyun shrugs, making to walk inside with Nayeon.

Sana trails behind a little, linking arms with Mina, and Nayeon guesses it’s a choice made by nerves and the same illusion that Nayeon would love to spend the entire night with Dahyun. Not that she would mind as such.

It’s good that she doesn’t mind, because it’s basically the outcome. The place is huge, and even though Nayeon knows a lot of the people, she knows Dahyun doesn’t, and makes sure she isn’t left alone anywhere. Dahyun however doesn’t really seem to need any help socializing. One minute she’s making an entire table full of juniors crack up, and the next she’s helping a girl who got a little too much, getting her water and chips.

“Thank you.” The drunk girl huffs, sipping on her water.

“Do you need me to stay?” Dahyun asks, rubbing the girl’s shoulders softly.

“I think I’m good. But thank you... uh-”

“Dahyun.”

“Dahyun. I’ll remember that name.” The girl smiles kindly, in a way that makes her eyes twinkle.

Dahyun runs a hand over the girl’s hair and fixes her bangs. Then she turns to Nayeon.

“Can we get some air?”

Nayeon nods and uncrosses her arms from in front of her. Dahyun smiles feebly, a crack in her flawless appearance, and Nayeon offers her a hand to make sure they don’t lose each other through the crowd. Dahyun takes it immediately, and Nayeon notices how tight she holds.

“I got you.” Nayeon promises. It’s not like she’s not tired herself. She’s just never as secretive about it. Dahyun always is. Nayeon switches the grip a little, and suddenly Dahyun’s fingers interlock with her own. They did it a lot as kids. Even as they grew up more. Held hands going home from school. Held hands when Dahyun slept in Nayeon’s bed. Held hands whenever they wanted. Like now.

“Looks like Sana found her target.” Dahyun notes quietly, as they make her way through the crowd. Nayeon looks in the way Dahyun nods. She’s right. In one of the booths, Sana is sitting with one arm around the shoulders of a girl with a dark bob, and the other holding around her neck as they kiss. It’s a giggly one. The kind that makes Nayeon suspect it’s not just for the night. That Sana has had more than just a target on the Park girl. Nayeon has just been too slow recently to notice.

There’s a lot she hasn’t noticed lately. Been spacing out.

“Unnie?”

The sound makes Nayeon’s heart skip a beat.

Shit.

Shit, she’s right. Sana, she’s fucking right.

“Sorry,” Nayeon croaks, “spaced.”

“You okay?”

“Just the alcohol. I think air is good.” Nayeon lies. What else can she do? She’s hand in hand with her childhood friend, a girl she raised as a sister, and just drunk enough not to trust her own judgment. But she’s not wasted either. If only she had been, she could’ve told herself it was just that, and not everything going on in the past month. That it’s just the booze and the loud music and the feeling of closeness that’s messing with her.

Nayeon’s skin feels on fire when the cool air hits her face. She barely registered that they’re outside.

This is bad. It’s so bad. Isn’t there rules against stuff like this? Against falling for someone you’ve known for so long? She’s family. It’s not- she can’t be. But she is. Family, yes. But also someone who makes Nayeon feel really weird. In that way you don’t want to feel as good as it does. The fluttering way.

“Thank you.” Dahyun says, letting go of Nayeon’s hand and settling on the curb outside the club.

“For what?” Nayeon studies her empty palm and then the back of Dahyun’s head.

“Coming out here with me, I really needed to breathe.” Dahyun admits. She looks up at Nayeon, and sends her a tired smile. Nayeon wants to sit down next to her. To hug her close and kiss her forehead and- how would that be? No, she can’t think of that. But she is.

“I really admire you, unnie.” Dahyun says, looking up at the dark night sky again. The city lights outshine the stars, but they both know they’re there.

“Why?” Nayeon asks.

“You know when to say when. No matter where you are, no matter who you’re with, you’re always just you. You don’t care if people know how you look when you’re tired or sad or mad. You just are. I envy that ability, to just trust your surroundings so much.”

Nayeon bites her lips. She’s not trusting anything much right now. Least of all herself.

“I didn’t trust you.” Nayeon notes.

“But you didn’t pretend either. You didn’t lie and say everything was okay when it wasn’t, and you didn’t deny me the truth when I asked for it.”

Nayeon’s stomach hurts. “I guess.”

“I lie a lot.” Dahyun whispers. “I like it when people smile because of me, so that’s who I let people see. I’m charismatic so I can get away with it. But sometimes I just want to sleep even when I’m telling jokes. Or I want to cry even when we’re just out having dinner. I don’t think it’s not normal, I just get so scared of showing it.”

“But you’re telling me, now?” Nayeon realizes that this isn’t just a little thing. Even if Nayeon already knows all of this, the fact that Dahyun is telling her, it’s a big deal for her.

“I trust you. That night when they asked me to noraebang, it was a huge thing for me to say no. To admit that I was tired. I don’t really do that. I just suck it up and deal on my own.” Dahyun chuckles humorlessly, turning on the curb to look up at Nayeon fully. “I don’t know how I got lucky enough to get you back in my life, but it’s like we somehow fit even better now than we did back then.”

Nayeon nods, feeling her flight mode trying to set in big time. There’s no way she can be feeling for Dahyun what she is, when she’s this important to the girl. It would ruin everything. 

“Yeah.” Nayeon nods. “We do fit.”

“Na-”

“Sorry, can you excuse me for a second?” Nayeon can’t handle more heartfelt words. She needs saving.

“I- sure. Of course. Just don’t leave me for too long.” Dahyun grins sleepily up at her.

Nayeon promises, and then walks back inside, standing just inside where she knows the music is too loud for Dahyun to hear her. Then she dials, hoping somehow that Jeongyeon has her phone out.

_ “Hello?” _

The call is answered almost immediately.

“Jeongyeon, can you come to the entrance. I need help.”

_ “Huh? Entrance?” _

“Yeah where your dumbass brain entered with the rest of yo earlier tonight, though I haven’t seen you all- what’s that noise?” Nayeon realizes the music isn’t the same in Jeongyeon’s end of the call.

_ “Oh, uhh, I’m not exactly at the party anymore.” _

Nayeon frowns. “Then where the fuck are you?”

_ “Um, an arcade.” _

“An- huh?” Nayeon feels completely lost.

_ “Is it urgent?” _

“Why are you in an arcade?” Nayeon ignores Jeongyeon’s question.

_ “Uh, long story, we ditched the party after an hour or so and ended up here. What did you need help with? Can’t you ask Sana?” _

“Sana’s sucking face with the Park girl. I’m okay, I just- who’s that? Who is ‘we’?” Nayeon plugs the noise from her other ear to hear better through the phone. Someone had called Jeongyeon’s name.

_ “I’ll be right there, hold my spot!” _ Jeongyeon calls to whomever had called her name, then returns to the conversation with Nayeon. _ “Nayeon just tell me you’re safe.” _

“I am. But I’m… I-”

_ “Good. I’m gonna get back to my date then.” _

“Your-  _ Yoo Jeongyeon  _ don’t you dare hang up on me.” Nayeon snaps. “Who are you on a date with?”

_ “Uh, bye.” _

“No Jeongyeon, you-”

_ “Jeong, I’m gonna do a solo run!” _ someone calls softly from the arcade.

_ “Mina, wait! I’ll be right there.” _ Jeongyeon calls back, her voice slightly muffled, then she’s back with Nayeon.  _ “Listen if this is about Dahyun, I can’t help you. Just don’t kiss her drunk, that never ends well.” _

The calls ends, and Nayeon stands flabbergasted in the entre to the club, staring at her phone. Oh. Wait when did that happen? Nayeon can’t gather her thoughts. She can barely think at all. Because Dahyun is- oh god Dahyun is still on the curb.

As swiftly as possible in her state, Nayeon puts the phone back in her purse and walks outside.

“Unnie.” Dahyun looks sleepily up at her.

“Sorry, I needed to- doesn’t matter.”

“Unnie can you help me get a cab? I think I need to go home, I’m so tired I might fall asleep right here.” Dahyun sends Nayeon a tired smile.

“I’ll walk you. I’m done with the party too, unless I want to third wheel Sana and the Park girl.” Nayeon rolls her eyes.

“Wait third wheel?” Dahyun reaches up, asking for a hand to help her on her feet. “Where’s Mina and Jeongyeon?”

“An arcade.” Nayeon rolls her eyes and helps Dahyun to her feet. Doesn’t let go of Dahyun’s hand. Even if she’ll have to do something about it tomorrow, right now she just can’t help but hold on as long as Dahyun is too. It feels like a memory somehow, but at the same time the air doesn’t have the same scent as a memory does. It’s cool and new and Dahyun’s hand is warm as they walk home.

“Yeah I hadn’t expected Mina to last long here. So Jeongyeon is who you called?”

“Stop being so smart, it’s unfair.” Nayeon huffs. She feels almost brave. “Yes it was.”

For a moment Nayeon considers lying, and excusing the call with worrying that she actually hadn’t seen Jeongyeon at all tonight. But Dahyun’s words from before replay in her head, and she settles for silence as the answer.

“Did she say if… I mean if she and-” Dahyun clears her throat.

Nayeon gapes, the truth almost too obvious now. “Oh my god you traitor, you totally knew.”

“Well I  _ am _ Mina’s roommate, and I have eyes.” Dahyun’s voice slurs a little. Probably from amusement mixed with the alcohol.

Nayeon tuts. “Smartass.”

“Well I’m a cute smartass, so.” Dahyun gives Nayeon’s hand a little squeeze, and Nayeon’s stomach does that thing where it tries to rearrange its organs. But more to accommodate the huge amount of butterflies.

“True.” Nayeon just says.

They walk quietly the rest of the way home, Dahyun holding on to Nayeon, though her grasp grows increasingly lax with each passing moment, and Nayeon realizes just how tired she must be.

“Do you always exhaust yourself like this?” Nayeon asks, waiting outside the bathroom while Dahyun puts on her pyjamas.

A bump sounds and then a little hiss.

“You okay?”

“Sorry, sink got in my way.” Dahyun calls sleepily. “I… I don’t always, but sometimes. I think the soju made me tired instead of hyper for once.”

Nayeon chuckles, but the next moment whines as she leans a little too much to one side and stumbles. Honestly she should just go back to her own room and go to bed. Dahyun is home and safe and there’s no reason she should stay. In fact, there are several reasons why she shouldn’t. And every single one of them has to do with the fact that she doesn’t  _ want _ to leave.

“Hey, you good?” Dahyun emerges from the bathroom, the checkered pyjama pants making her look impossibly tiny as they pool around her feet. The huge shirt doesn’t help either. Honestly, they could probably both fit in that shirt at the same time if they tried.

“Yeah.” Nayeon says. Watches as Dahyun walks past her and crawls onto her bed.

Dahyun looks up at her, sitting crossed legged, almost as if she’s expecting Nayeon to come over.

“I’ll go then.” Nayeon says, standing very unmoving.

“What, no goodnight story?” Dahyun asks.

Nayeon feels like she’s choking. She used to read to Dahyun the nights Dahyun would stay over, to calm her down. And Dahyun practice writing the letters from the books, always with the crayons instead of a pencil. Always crayons. Always colorful and quirky.

“I don’t think my brain works fast enough to tell a story.” Nayeon sends the younger girl an apologetic smile.

“Fair.” Dahyun grins, and Nayeon realizes she never meant it. But why ask then? This girl, she’s so easy to read sometimes, and other times she’s just being really weird.

“Text me tomorrow?” Nayeon asks. “Once you’re done hurling, I mean.”

“I’m not actually super drunk.” Dahyun chuckles, shuffling under the covers. “And I don’t get the worst hangovers. I’ll probably be fine.”

“Lucky you.” Nayeon grumbles.

“Did you have a lot?” Dahyun asks.

Nayeon shrugs. “More than you probably.”

Dahyun smiles, still sitting up, now just under the covers. Then she holds out a hand towards Nayeon.

“What are-”

“Don’t I get a hug? If you’re leaving?”

Nayeon really would rather not. Her body acts a lot more appropriate with a little distance between them. But Dahyun is insistent, and Nayeon doesn’t know how to say no to her. She never has. So she walks the distance, only swaying slightly, and lets Dahyun pull her in for a hug.

“Thank you for walking me home.” Dahyun mumbles into Nayeon’s hair.

“Of course, you goof.” Nayeon settles on the edge of the bed, just for stability. “I wasn’t going to just leave you on the street.”

“Well you did for a little.” Dahyun pulls back, scooting down until she’s laying flat. Her eyes are big when she looks up at Nayeon.

“Did I not tell you to stop being such a smartass?” Nayeon tuts.

Dahyun looks slightly smug, and Nayeon narrows her eyes at her. But she can’t help smiling.

“Sleep well, little one.”

“I- I was going to say I’m not little anymore, but don’t think you’d agree.” Dahyun notes with a quirk of the eyebrow. 

Nayeon’s fingers play with the fabric of Dahyun’s covers. She doesn’t want to leave. But she needs to. Because if she doesn’t she’s bound to do something really dumb. She always does. And Dahyun is the one person she can’t do dumb stuff to. She’s really already filled that quota.

“Unnie?”

Nayeon looks at her. Nods and gets up. Then leans down and presses a chaste kiss to Dahyun’s forehead.

“Sleep well Dubudubu.” Nayeon uses her nickname from when Dahyun was too small to pronounce her own name properly.

Dahyun hums. And before Nayeon realizes what’s happening, Dahyun’s hands are around Nayeon’s wrists, their soft grip asking her not to go. Nayeon’s head is spinning.

“I have to go.” Nayeon whispers, leaned halfway down to Dahyun’s face. She’s so close. And this is so bad.

“Why?” Dahyun’s question is completely innocent and Nayeon can’t even think that there’s more to it. Maybe Dahyun just doesn’t want to be alone. After all, Mina isn’t back, and Dahyun’s eyes beg her.

Nayeon doesn’t want to say it. That if she stays, she’ll just fall for the girl even more than she already has. That she needs the space to get over this crush, so Nayeon can be the friend Dahyun has wanted back for so long. So she can let Dahyun fully into her life. It’s so stupid. First it was guilt and now this? Can’t Nayeon ever just feel normally about Dahyun? It can’t be that hard to just be comfortable around her, can it? Except that’s just the thing. Nayeon  _ is _ comfortable around Dahyun. She feels absolutely at ease in Dahyun’s company. Well at least at any moment except for this, when she’s swaying slightly, still hovering over Dahyun.

It’s the alcohol that makes Nayeon lean down and press another kiss to Dahyun’s skin - to the tip of her nose this time. Or at least that’s her excuse. Because missing the feeling of your childhood friend’s skin under your lips is a really bad explanation. Really, really bad. 

“Unnie.” Dahyun whispers, her hands tighter around Nayeon’s wrists now. And then a different sensation takes hold of Nayeon’s entire being. Lips pressing against her own. A haze of sparks and fog and the taste of fruity booze on Dahyun’s lips.

It’s not like Nayeon isn’t aware of what she’s doing when she closes her eyes and returns the kiss, moving her lips against Dahyun’s and settling back on the edge of the bed. It’s just that Dahyun really knows how to kiss, and nothing inside Nayeon seems to work as it should. All she can think about is Dahyun. How soft her lips are and how they move more insistently with every angling of her face. How her arms wrap around Nayeon’s neck, tugging her closer. It almost makes Nayeon lose her balance, but she settles once more on the edge of the bed, steadying herself with an arm beside Dahyun’s head. And when Dahyun’s kisses grow more and more open-mouthed, there’s nothing easier than allowing Dahyn to taste her, giving in to whatever this is.

The taste of alcohol is stronger on Dahyun’s tongue than her lips however, and it brings Nayeon back to reality so fast she might as well have been struck by lightning. But even as she tries to pull back, Dahyun refuses to let go.

“Dahyun.” Nayeon tries, but Dahyun simply angles her head and brushes over Nayeon’s lips again, asking for more.

It’s instinct for Nayeon to kiss back. Just for a second.

“Dahyun, I should-”

“No. Stay. Please” Dahyun’s voice is slightly breathless, and she tugs at Nayeon again. “Stay.”

Nayeon grimaces. God, she wants nothing more. But Dahyun is still drunk and Nayeon undoubtedly isn’t sober either, and if Nayeon doesn’t stop now, there’s no way she’s going to later. Because the way Dahyun feels against her is intoxicating.

“I don’t want to be alone.” Dahyun mumbles. 

Nayeon sighs. Closes her eyes, and almost laughs when Dahyun uses the moment’s weakness to steal another kiss. She’s almost shameless this kid. So what else is she supposed to do, but stay? For a moment she considers stealing Mina’s bed, but Dahyun immediately scoots over, making room for Nayeon.

It doesn’t matter that she’s still wearing her dress, or that she hasn’t gotten ready for bed at all. What matters is the warmth emitting from Dahyun and the hum when Nayeon crawls under the covers. It’s a bad idea. It’s very determinately a bad idea. But then again, nothing she had done since realizing this was more than just protectiveness, was a bad idea. And stuff like this always comes back to bite Nayeon in the ass. Always. Except for Dahyun. Karma never punished her for that. Dahyun was just wonderfully, unconditionally, given back to her. And now she’s here, with her arms around Dahyun, the younger girl’s back against her own front, and she can feel the tingling on her lips from the kiss.

The kiss.

She had just kissed (more like made out with) Dahyun. Or rather, Dahyun had kissed her. Had kissed her several times. Had tugged her down. Nayeon’s stomach jolts at the memory of Dahyun’s tongue in her mouth. This was so bad. She should’ve never given in to her. Because it’s obvious now that this had been Dahyun’s idea ever since holding Nayeon’s wrists. That she had wanted Nayeon to kiss her, for whatever reason. But Nayeon couldn’t let it happen again. She would just fall more, and it wouldn’t be fair for Dahyun if she was just acting on the alcohol.

Thoughts like these run through Nayeon’s mind all night. Or at least whenever she wakes from her boozed slumber. Whenever she sees the back of Dahyun’s head and feels the younger girl’s fingers twined with her own. This is really… so bad. And Nayeon needs distance. Wants more. Wants closer. But needs the distance.

“Unnie… sleep.” Dahyun mumbles.

“Huh?” Nayeon feels her face flush.

“You’re bustling, go to sleep.” Dahyun’s words slur and she yawns.

“I- I think it’s better if I go sleep in my own room.” Nayeon manages. She’s sober now, and it helps with the making of sane decisions she definitely did not make earlier.

“Why?”

Nayeon swallows and looks behind her, finding Mina’s bed empty. So she doesn’t even have an excuse. Except four in the morning after a party is definitely the worst time in the world to confess. Still, she can’t lie to Dahyun. She just can’t.

“Because we kissed.” Nayeon can barely get the words out, staring at the back of Dahyun’s head. “And… because I want to kiss you again.”

Dahyun doesn’t move for a moment. Then she lets out a soft hum. Turns in Nayeon’s arm until she’s halfway on her back. Just enough to look into Nayeon’s eyes. They shine. And the smile on her face is small but soft.

Nayeon bites the insides of her cheeks. Definitely not a good way to confess.

“You have really soft lips.” Dahyun says casually. “I always wondered.”

Nayeon bites a little too hard, and winces. Heat rushes up her neck, settling in her cheeks immediately.

“I always wanted you to see me.” Dahyun continues. “I wanted you to see me before you saw anyone else, and I did everything to make you see me. Even now, I just wanted you to notice me.”

“I always notice you.” Nayeon whispers.

“Then don’t leave.” Dahyun pleads. “Stay.”

“Wait you- I thought- you don’t think it’s weird that I like you?”

“Considering I was ten when I found out I had a massive crush on you?” Dahyun chuckles, her cheeks visibly warm now. “No I don’t think it’s weird.”

Nayeon feels dumb. “You what now?”

Dahyun turns more, until she’s flat on her back. Reaches up and touches Nayeon’s lower lip with a tip of her finger. Just for a second before resting it on Nayeon’s arm. “I write my name in big colorful letters so people will remember it. I make jokes and make people laugh so people will know me. I like the attention. But I think most of all, I just always wanted yours. I didn’t care what we did, as long as you were looking at me.”

Nayeon’s mouth feels dry, and her heart is hammering in her chest. “I had no clue I liked you until tonight.”

“But you always saw me. Even if you didn’t like me. You always loved me.”

Nayeon can’t deny that. But she also can’t deny the way her eyes flicker downward. The way her tongue pokes down to lick her own lips. They still taste like alcohol, but she’s more worried her mouth tastes like sleep. Dahyun doesn’t seem to worry about that, however. She just leans close enough to brush her nose against Nayeon’s.

“Wait, so you like me, like me?” Nayeon asks. Just to be sure.

Dahyun chuckles, the air puffing onto Nayeon’s lips. “This is why I’m the smartass.”

Nayeon doesn’t doubt it for a minute. She feels actually quite dumb right now. How did she not see? She who always praises herself on knowing Dahyun so well. But at the end of it all, there is only one thing that matters; that Dahyun’s smile widens under Nayeon’s lips when the older girl kisses her. She doesn’t even care that Sana and Jeongyeon will haunt her forever for this. Okay maybe cares a little about that too. But they’ll get through that too. If they’re a they-

“Dahyun?” Nayeon pulls back.

“Mh?” Dahyun looks dazed.

Nayeon swallows “This isn’t just because of- I mean like it will be like this tomorrow too right? And-”

“Yeah.” Dahyun nods. “If you want.” 

Dahyun really looks like she wants to note how slow Nayeon is. But she doesn’t, and Nayeon loves her for that. Because they both know it’s just because Nayeon doesn’t want to lose her.

“Okay good.” Nayeon shuffles, feeling the pantyhose chafe. Really? Yes of course they would. And there’s really no elegant way of fixing chafing underwear. There just isn’t.

“You okay?” Dahyun asks, a humored expression on her face.

“I- ... It’s really not comfortable to sleep in a dress and pantyhose.” Nayeon admits.

Dahyun shuffles a little closer. “You can borrow from me again.”

“Good idea. I will in a moment” Nayeon sighs. Leans in for another kiss instead. As if it’s the most natural thing in the world. And maybe it is. It certainly feels like it. Even the next morning, when the sun wakes Nayeon by burning her cheek, it feels natural to bury her nose into Dahyun’s hair and tug her closer. It just doesn’t feel real. She’s waiting somehow for reality to wake her up and make it weird and make Nayeon want to run again. But right now she doesn’t. Right now she just chuckles hoarsely as Dahyun turns sleepily in Nayeon’s arms and presses a lazy kiss to Nayeon’s lips.

“Morning, unnie” Dahyun mumbles.

“Morning…” Nayeon smiles. Let’s Dahyun nibble at her lips without really trying to turn it into more. Dahyun does not seem fully awake yet, not even remarkably so. Nayeon isn’t sure she is either.

And then someone clears their throat. Someone who most certainly isn’t Nayeon or Dahyun. Nayeon jolts and Dahyun freezes. Buries her head in the pillow while Nayeon dares to look in the direction of the sound.

“Morning,  _ unnie _ .” Jeongyeon looks annoyingly smug, standing with crossed arms and a quirked brow, next to Sana who looks like she’s about to burst.

“Fuck.” Nayeon groans. “Why are you here?”

“We came to inspect the evidence.” Sana shrugs gleefully.

“Rude.” Nayeon huffs. “I haven’t even told you yet.”

“I’m afraid that’s my fault.” Mina’s voice is genuinely apologetic as she peeks out from behind the other two. “I walked in on you two last night so I borrowed your bed and when Sana got home she questioned me… I tried to stop them but-”

“If you had been in Jeongyeon’s bed I wouldn’t have asked.” Sana shrugs, though quickly jumps to avoid Jeongyeon’s hand aiming for the back of her head.

“That doesn’t explain why you’re  _ here _ though.” Nayeon sits up slightly.

There’s a moment where Sana and Jeongyeon look at each other as if actually wondering if they overstepped. But it’s not like Nayeon minds as such.

“Ugh, whatever. You have nothing to let me know anyways.” Nayeon shuffles to sit so she covers Dahyun as best she can. The younger girl clearly isn’t as comfortable being caught as Nayeon is.

“Sure.” Sana snorts.

“She’s kind of right, Sana.” Jeongyeon shrugs. “I mean, I snuck away from the party to go on a date and you just turned up twenty minutes ago from a walk of shame.”

“Oh?” Nayeon smells the drama, eager to make it not about her.

“Oh please, there was no shame in that, I walked home with  _ pride _ . Do you have any idea what a catch Jihyo is?”

“I don’t doubt that you’re going to tell me all about it.” Jeongyeon rolls her eyes.

“Oh please you’ve been rambling about Mina ever since you got together, it’s my turn!” Sana whines. “I get my week of sappy idiocy now.”

“Sorry to say, Sana,” Nayeon says dryly, “but you’re always a sappy idiot.”

“Rude.”

“Says you.” Nayeon huffs. “Get out.”

Sana looks like she’s about to argue. Then she looks at Dahyun. Scrunches her nose and huffs. “Fine. Sorry for barging in, Dahyunnie.”

“Mmh,” Dahyun mumbles, waving her off.

“Yeah, sorry Dahyun.” Jeongyeon joins in.

“And what am I? Burnt leftovers?” Nayeon whines as the three girls turn to leave them behind. 

Nayeon considers planning some kind of revenge. But the next second Dahyun’s tugs at her arm, and Nayeon finds her looking up with big eyes and flaming cheeks.

“I’m gonna disown them.” Nayeon grumbles, laying down next to Dahyun again.

Dahyun chuckles and shakes her head. “It’s okay.”

“If you say so. You’re the smart one in this relationship.” Nayeon leans in to kiss her forehead only to realize that there’s a hint of a lipstick mark left from last night. Nayeon wipes it with a thumb and places a new kiss there. She knows they have all the time in the world, and that she will come to place many more kisses there in the future, but she might as well start now.

 


End file.
